The holiday season is a stressful time for any family going through a divorce or one that has recently been through a divorce. The holidays for kids from divorce families are especially rough because it seems their world has turned upside down. It’s vital that you make sure to provide a great experience for your children. While it can be hard on you, we as parents should not let our troubles become our children's troubles.
This all sounds great in theory but not in the real world. Divorce is a traumatic experience which leaves deep pain that lingers for years. Putting on a strong face and marching your way through the holidays is much easier said than done.
Below I have listed several tips to help overcome some of the stress.
Make a Plan
Planning for the holidays after a divorce takes extra thought. No longer are you just planning on what to do, but now you have to determine when you’ll be able to do it with your own children. A schedule needs to be made showing which parent gets the kids at what time and on what days. It is good to plan this ahead of time so you can still enjoy the holiday season while your kids are with your ex. The holidays for kids from divorce families make it hard for the kids to bounce from one parent to the other, so you need to minimize this as much as possible.
Coping with unexpected reminders
If you have children then you probably had many Christmas with your ex. Most likely you have many memories and decorations of Christmas past. Just be prepared for what you may find while unpacking those Christmas decorations. You may uncover something from your first Christmas, or some pictures from that special family get together or maybe items from an important holiday event. If you are not careful you may get caught off guard by such reminders. You will have to accept the fact that these things are just going to happen. Just be prepared and stay strong. It will become easier in time.
Start a new tradition
The holiday season is about family traditions and a divorce will obviously have a huge impact on your traditions… past… present… and future. That’s why it is so important to start a new tradition… a tradition that involve just you and your kids so that you can move ahead and start new memories.
Still keep the old
While it’s important to start new traditions, the holidays for kids from divorce families need to maintain old traditions as well. You should provide them the stability they need so past traditions are not completely lost. If you can not uphold the tradition exactly as it was, then do not be afraid to modify plans so as to make it work.
Plan for yourself
Because of a divorce you will probably have to go a day or so without your kids while they spend time with the ex and their family. This can be a great opportunity for you to plan some activities for yourself. Some activity you have been planning to do. It may include a visit to an old friend or a short trip to a nearby town. Maybe just a visit to the park or zoo. The winter season always brings out activities that might not be as popular as in the summertime but it can still be enjoyable. Just bundle up for the cooler temperatures. The main thing is to just relax and enjoy yourself.
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Monday, July 12, 2010
How to Get Child Visitation on Your Terms
During the divorce proceedings it should be determined which parent will be given custody of the children. The other parent (non-custodial), will be given child visitation rights.
Normally the visitation schedule is prepared at the final divorce agreement and uses input from both parents. When developed, this schedule gives the non-custodial parent visiting rights to his or her children. It is rare if one parent is not allowed to see their child so unless the family court finds reason to object, child visitation rights is almost always guaranteed to the non-custodial parent.
The courts are giving both parents the ability to develop a healthy relationship with their children by allowing visitation rights. Should a change be needed to the schedule then it can be accomplished using a court order. A number of factors could cause this to happen… like a major change in circumstances or the inappropriate conduct of one parent.
In some cases where the parents fail to reach an agreement on sharing time with their children, it is up to the courts to set a visitation schedule. A court ordered schedule will set forth the times and places for visitation. Instead of allowing visitation access to both parents, the courts may decide it is in the best interest of the child to grant sole custody to only one parent. This could occur if the court determines the child would be seriously endangered visiting with the non-custodial parent.
But the courts prefer child development utilizing both parents so they seldom prohibit visitation to a parent. However, it is not unrealizable for the court to place certain requirements on the visitation restrictions such as requiring the supervision by a third-party, or require it occur at a specific time and location.
The visitation schedule is most importance for the non-custodial parent. The following tips will help insure that your child visitation rights continue without any problems.
Schedule Visitation Transfers
The courts may have ordered the visitation transfers to occur at a certain time and location but usually the parents have decided what works best for them. You, as a parent, should try to always be prompt when picking up or returning your child. Please do not cause a delay. It is possible that one parent may have a scheduled event planned and delays at visitation transfer will only cause further conflict.
All Important Vacation and Holiday Schedule
It is important to work together on creating the holiday visitation schedule. You will need to be flexible with these schedules. Handle holidays like Mothers Day and Fathers Day carefully. They have special meaning so the visitatations should be scheduled likewise. Be flexible when it comes to the Thanksgiving and Christmas vacation and holidays too. The parents usually have to share the children more during these holidays. Spring breaks and summer vacations also allow a great time to share the kids and introduce them to new and challenging activities.
Focus on the Child
Working toward the best interest of the child should be most important for both parents. Keeping and maintaining a close and loving relationship with their parents is still very important to the children of divorced parents. Your most important task should be to keep the visitations interesting, enjoyable and mostly for the benefit of your child.
Learn more about getting: Child Visitation Rights
Get additional information on: Child Custody Visitation
Normally the visitation schedule is prepared at the final divorce agreement and uses input from both parents. When developed, this schedule gives the non-custodial parent visiting rights to his or her children. It is rare if one parent is not allowed to see their child so unless the family court finds reason to object, child visitation rights is almost always guaranteed to the non-custodial parent.
The courts are giving both parents the ability to develop a healthy relationship with their children by allowing visitation rights. Should a change be needed to the schedule then it can be accomplished using a court order. A number of factors could cause this to happen… like a major change in circumstances or the inappropriate conduct of one parent.
In some cases where the parents fail to reach an agreement on sharing time with their children, it is up to the courts to set a visitation schedule. A court ordered schedule will set forth the times and places for visitation. Instead of allowing visitation access to both parents, the courts may decide it is in the best interest of the child to grant sole custody to only one parent. This could occur if the court determines the child would be seriously endangered visiting with the non-custodial parent.
But the courts prefer child development utilizing both parents so they seldom prohibit visitation to a parent. However, it is not unrealizable for the court to place certain requirements on the visitation restrictions such as requiring the supervision by a third-party, or require it occur at a specific time and location.
The visitation schedule is most importance for the non-custodial parent. The following tips will help insure that your child visitation rights continue without any problems.
Schedule Visitation Transfers
The courts may have ordered the visitation transfers to occur at a certain time and location but usually the parents have decided what works best for them. You, as a parent, should try to always be prompt when picking up or returning your child. Please do not cause a delay. It is possible that one parent may have a scheduled event planned and delays at visitation transfer will only cause further conflict.
All Important Vacation and Holiday Schedule
It is important to work together on creating the holiday visitation schedule. You will need to be flexible with these schedules. Handle holidays like Mothers Day and Fathers Day carefully. They have special meaning so the visitatations should be scheduled likewise. Be flexible when it comes to the Thanksgiving and Christmas vacation and holidays too. The parents usually have to share the children more during these holidays. Spring breaks and summer vacations also allow a great time to share the kids and introduce them to new and challenging activities.
Focus on the Child
Working toward the best interest of the child should be most important for both parents. Keeping and maintaining a close and loving relationship with their parents is still very important to the children of divorced parents. Your most important task should be to keep the visitations interesting, enjoyable and mostly for the benefit of your child.
Learn more about getting: Child Visitation Rights
Get additional information on: Child Custody Visitation
Monday, June 14, 2010
Child Custody Visitation Rights
By Sarah Dillon
A parent who does not win custody of the child will be entitled to visitation or parenting time. The amount of time will depend on the circumstances, the distance apart that the parents live and any requests from the parents.
A common award of parenting time is every other weekend but if the parents live far apart then the non custodial parent will get more time during school holidays.
A parent can be denied parenting time if the court considers it is not in the best interests of the child such as when the child may be put in danger or at risk of harm or kidnapping.
If this occurs then the parent may have access to the child only under supervision of a responsible adult or social services.
If parents can not agree on visitation or there is a high degree of conflict between them then a very specific parenting or visitation schedule can be drawn up and approved by the court.
It is sensible for parents to review their parenting plan as the child grows older because the child's needs will change with maturity and this should be reflected in the parenting plan.
When a parent wins physical custody and the other parent gets visitation rights, these rights may be exercised "at reasonable times and places".
This can be problematic because who says what is a reasonable time and place and clearly this puts the parent who has physical custody in a strong position to mess around the other parent.
For this reason courts encourage strongly the parents to work out a parenting plan to ensure reasonable access to the non custodial parent. This plan should be really agreed between parents before going to court to enable the judge to make it part of his order when making his custody decision.
For this reason mediation may be a helpful solution to solve any outstanding issues and it is better to come to a mediated agreement rather than have the court impose a solution.
Mediation should be cheaper than a legal battle and is quick compared to a legal battle which can drag on for months or even years.
It must also be recognised that if the interests of the child are to be put first, then parents who engage in mediation show their children that even though they have broken up they can still communicate like rational human beings and this has a very positive long term effect on the development of the child.
About the author:
Check out child custody for fathers and other child custody questions at http://childjointcustody.com/
A parent who does not win custody of the child will be entitled to visitation or parenting time. The amount of time will depend on the circumstances, the distance apart that the parents live and any requests from the parents.
A common award of parenting time is every other weekend but if the parents live far apart then the non custodial parent will get more time during school holidays.
A parent can be denied parenting time if the court considers it is not in the best interests of the child such as when the child may be put in danger or at risk of harm or kidnapping.
If this occurs then the parent may have access to the child only under supervision of a responsible adult or social services.
If parents can not agree on visitation or there is a high degree of conflict between them then a very specific parenting or visitation schedule can be drawn up and approved by the court.
It is sensible for parents to review their parenting plan as the child grows older because the child's needs will change with maturity and this should be reflected in the parenting plan.
When a parent wins physical custody and the other parent gets visitation rights, these rights may be exercised "at reasonable times and places".
This can be problematic because who says what is a reasonable time and place and clearly this puts the parent who has physical custody in a strong position to mess around the other parent.
For this reason courts encourage strongly the parents to work out a parenting plan to ensure reasonable access to the non custodial parent. This plan should be really agreed between parents before going to court to enable the judge to make it part of his order when making his custody decision.
For this reason mediation may be a helpful solution to solve any outstanding issues and it is better to come to a mediated agreement rather than have the court impose a solution.
Mediation should be cheaper than a legal battle and is quick compared to a legal battle which can drag on for months or even years.
It must also be recognised that if the interests of the child are to be put first, then parents who engage in mediation show their children that even though they have broken up they can still communicate like rational human beings and this has a very positive long term effect on the development of the child.
About the author:
Check out child custody for fathers and other child custody questions at http://childjointcustody.com/
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