Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Holidays for Kids from Divorce Families

The holiday season is a stressful time for any family going through a divorce or one that has recently been through a divorce. The holidays for kids from divorce families are especially rough because it seems their world has turned upside down. It’s vital that you make sure to provide a great experience for your children. While it can be hard on you, we as parents should not let our troubles become our children's troubles.

This all sounds great in theory but not in the real world. Divorce is a traumatic experience which leaves deep pain that lingers for years. Putting on a strong face and marching your way through the holidays is much easier said than done.

Below I have listed several tips to help overcome some of the stress.

Make a Plan
Planning for the holidays after a divorce takes extra thought. No longer are you just planning on what to do, but now you have to determine when you’ll be able to do it with your own children. A schedule needs to be made showing which parent gets the kids at what time and on what days. It is good to plan this ahead of time so you can still enjoy the holiday season while your kids are with your ex. The holidays for kids from divorce families make it hard for the kids to bounce from one parent to the other, so you need to minimize this as much as possible.

Coping with unexpected reminders
If you have children then you probably had many Christmas with your ex. Most likely you have many memories and decorations of Christmas past. Just be prepared for what you may find while unpacking those Christmas decorations. You may uncover something from your first Christmas, or some pictures from that special family get together or maybe items from an important holiday event. If you are not careful you may get caught off guard by such reminders. You will have to accept the fact that these things are just going to happen. Just be prepared and stay strong. It will become easier in time.

Start a new tradition
The holiday season is about family traditions and a divorce will obviously have a huge impact on your traditions… past… present… and future. That’s why it is so important to start a new tradition… a tradition that involve just you and your kids so that you can move ahead and start new memories.

Still keep the old
While it’s important to start new traditions, the holidays for kids from divorce families need to maintain old traditions as well. You should provide them the stability they need so past traditions are not completely lost. If you can not uphold the tradition exactly as it was, then do not be afraid to modify plans so as to make it work.

Plan for yourself
Because of a divorce you will probably have to go a day or so without your kids while they spend time with the ex and their family. This can be a great opportunity for you to plan some activities for yourself. Some activity you have been planning to do. It may include a visit to an old friend or a short trip to a nearby town. Maybe just a visit to the park or zoo. The winter season always brings out activities that might not be as popular as in the summertime but it can still be enjoyable. Just bundle up for the cooler temperatures. The main thing is to just relax and enjoy yourself.

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